et tu, amazon?

I had basically come to terms with the lack of a Starbucks, Ikea, Barnes & Noble, Old Navy, or Target on Guam. (Well, okay, the Target part still stings a little.)  I was consoling myself with the fact that Amazon ships here.  And I do love me some Amazon.  We even got Prime last year and we've been loving the free two-day shipping and the streaming videos (especially important after Netflix got rid of Faith's favorite show, Yo Gabba Gabba, with no warning... humph).

So today I was placing an Amazon order for the first time since moving here (because we FINALLY HAVE INTERNET, hallelujah), for various items including Jack's birthday presents, when I learned a Terrible Truth. Actually, three Terrible Truths.

1. Amazon does ship to Guam, but they don't ship everything. Now, for some things this makes sense. Furniture, for instance. But some of the things they don't ship mystify me. For instance, I can order this popsicle mold but not this one.  Is there any hint that one is significantly different from the other, shipping-wise?  Not that I could find.  I guess this means Amazon shopping will be like a Game Of Chance now.  Search... read through reviews... find the perfect item... now, drumroll... can we actually buy it?!?  So exciting!!!!

2. Amazon does ship (some things) to Guam, but NOT for standard shipping rates... and certainly no free two-day Prime shipping... and not even any free super-saver shipping.  Despite the fact that the US Post Office considers Guam basically a state, and to mail a letter here you just need one stamp, just like everywhere else in America.  This I kind of understand (we are in the middle of nowhere) but it's still quite disappointing.

3. Amazon does ship (some things) to Guam (for more dinero), but they do NOT stream videos here.  "What?!" I hear you exclaim. "How does that even make sense??"  Um, yeah.  It doesn't.  I might think there's some mysterious media regulation that I don't know about... except Netflix, Hulu, and Apple don't have any problem streaming videos here.  And also, they'll stream videos to Puerto Rico, which has the exact same "US Territory" status that Guam has.  So WTF?!

So basically, I'm feeling all grumpy and betrayed.  Picture me plunging an imaginary dagger into my heart when I realized the above facts.  I TRUSTED YOU, AMAZON!!!!!  *shakes fist at the sky*

(First-world problems, right?)