TV medicine pet peeves

All right, so you know... TV, while fun and entertaining, is not always the most accurate. For me, this is most obvious in medical scenarios. So without further ado, for your enjoyment, my top 5 TV medicine pet peeves...

5- "Stay awake! Stay with me!" "Don't close your eyes!" "Stay awake!"

This is only necessary if you're, like, in the wilderness and the sick/injured person has to stay awake so they can keep walking to safety. Otherwise, falling unconscious can actually be a protective mechanism (your brain requires less oxygen, your heart rate slows, etc.). It's often a sign of badness, yes, and you want to fix the underlying problem, but falling unconscious doesn't do anything bad to you in and of itself.

Important to stay awake in this scenario. Otherwise, if you're injured, pass out if you want.

4- Have you ever had to get blood drawn? Did the phlebotomist ever have trouble finding your vein? Then you should realize that you can't just stick a needle randomly into someone's arm or neck, depress the syringe, and expect the contents to go into a vein. First you have to actually, y'know, find the vein.

Sorry, Sam. Doesn't work this way. You're just infiltrating that purified blood.

3- "Mental hospital" or "psych ward" is code for "prison without trial for anyone who shows the least sign of being crazy," right?

Clark Kent would agree.

Actually (surprise surprise) WRONG.

First, inpatient psychiatric facilities are not creepy prisons where the walls are all padded, everyone wears white, and the staff leers menacingly at you. They're actually pretty nice, as hospitals go. They typically have soothing decor, comfy couches, and everyone wears regular clothes. Psychiatrists are generally extremely nice people.

A room in a real-life psychiatric hospital.

Restraints are NEVER used unless someone is actively trying to physically harm themselves or someone else, and there is NO other effective option. And patients are never just left in them for extended periods of time. (That's illegal, actually. There are extremely strict guidelines as to when and how physical restraints are used.)

Second, the ONLY time you can be admitted to an inpatient psychiatric unit without your consent-- unless you committed a crime related to your mental illness and it's either the "psych ward" or jail-- is if you're a danger to yourself or someone else... that is, actively suicidal or homicidal (or an undeniable danger by your actions, even if you're not strictly intending harm).

So, let's review-- can the following people be admitted (not committed, guys, what century is this?) to an inpatient psych unit without their consent?
- Depressed man who is considering suicide but does not have a specific plan to kill himself? NOPE.
- Actively psychotic woman who hears voices that tell her she's on a mission from alien beings? NOPE.
- Bipolar man in a manic state who's spending himself to the poorhouse betting on horse races? NOPE.
- Schizophrenic woman who believes that food is poison and so is slowly starving to death? MAYBE. But they will have to try outpatient treatment FIRST.
- Delusional man who is planning to shoot his coworker tomorrow because he thinks he is a terrorist? YES.
- Depressed woman who tried to overdose on prescription painkillers in a suicide attempt? YES.

Also, on a related note, electroshock therapy is NOT painful (patients are sedated beforehand, as well as given a muscle relaxant so there are no terrifying convulsions), NEVER done against a patient's will, and is actually SUPER AMAZINGLY EFFECTIVE for treating severe, intractable depression.


2- "Give him some space, he's in shock." "Please, officer, can this wait a minute? She's in shock!"

What shock means in medicine:

Dangerously low blood pressure leading to organ damage, either due to infection, blood loss, dehydration, anaphylaxis, severe heart disease, or central nervous system damage.

What shock does not mean in medicine:

Someone is confused/stunned after experiencing something psychologically traumatizing.

Moral of the story: if she's "in shock," somebody better be placing two large-bore IVs and running some fluid boluses stat.

Nope. Sherlock, you really should know better.

And my Number One TV Medicine Pet Peeve....

1- Picture this scene (you know you've seen it many a time):

A terrible accident has occurred, and now a character you've come to know and love is lying in a hospital bed, barely clinging to life (and, I might add, looking remarkably attractive and well-groomed for someone so Critically Ill... usually without even a nasal cannula, much less an endotracheal tube, to spoil the effect).

Suddenly the rhythmic beeping in the background gives way to an ominous hum, and you know the terrible truth. The heart monitor swings into view to show you the all-too-recognizable flatline.

Instantly, doctors and nurses rush in. What's the first thing they do? Check the Airway, Breathing, Circulation? Start chest compressions? No way, baby, because in medical drama there is nothing more glamorous than the all-powerful defibrillator. One of the (also remarkably attractive) doctors grabs those paddles, slams them on the patient's bare chest, yells "CLEAR!" and the patient jerks violently.

(Note: Even if they do attempt CPR, they do terrible compressions-- too slow, too shallow-- and on a soft surface. If you're doing compressions on a bed without a board behind the patient, you're not compressing their heart, you're just compressing the mattress.)

Lather, rinse, repeat. This goes on for a grand total of about 30 seconds (despite the fact that real codes can last more like 30 minutes at times... and do, in fact, typically involve chest compressions) before the Doctor In Charge wipes his/her brow, fights back tears, and says, forcing stoicism, "Call it."

So what is the pet peeve here? The unlikely attractiveness of... well, everyone? The fast-forwarded code blue? The lack of oxygen therapy (or any kind of medical device) on a patient who is evidently Hovering Near Death? Actually, no.

People. Asystole is NOT a freakin' SHOCKABLE RHYTHM!

  

seven quick takes - ed. 25

1. I'm really terrible at this blogging thing lately. Seriously, these past couple of weeks have flown by.  Plus, Jack was off-island this week (in Japan for a conference), so things were a bit more desperate than usual around here.

2. I'm still way behind on Downton Abbey, but I'm keeping a running list of all the medical problems that could've been fixed with modern medicine (hint: basically all of them) and exactly how. I'm in early Season 3 and I'm up to eight major life-changing medical issues that would be much, much smaller issues nowadays. It makes me ridiculously grateful that we live in the times we do. (Though I imagine 100 years from now, people will look back on diseases today and shake their heads in dismay almost as much.)

3. This is how sweet this baby is. Unless she's tired or hungry, she basically never gets frustrated. She laughs every time she makes a mistake stacking blocks. Every. Time. (She does the same thing when she stands and falls over. She thinks that is freaking hilarious.)

4. Ready for some more baby cuteness? Instead of being mad that Josie's scribbling on her coloring book, Faith says, "You did it!! Good job!! I'm so proud of you!!"

5. And because I'm on a mommy-blogging role, here are a few other memorable quotes from Faith:

"Other girls like kale. I like CHOCOLATE!!!"

Me: "Faith, why haven't you put your jammies on?"
Faith: (stark naked) "I did! They're pretend jammies!"

Me: "Faith, do you know how much I love you?"
Faith: "No!! You not loving me!"
Me: "What?! Why do you say that!"
Faith: "Because I love YOU! You not love ME!"
Me: "Well, we can both love each other."
Faith: "Oh. Okay."

6. This is a pretty good article: Top Ten Misconceptions About Guam.  And, for your viewing enjoyment, a time-lapse tropical Guamanian sunrise:

7. I'm too tired to think of a seventh quick take.

Head back to Conversion Diary for the linkup!

answer me this: media-consuming and hand-shaking edition

1. What is your favorite room in the house?

This might be a little strange, but I really like the girls' playroom. Not that I, personally, love spending time in there (it's not put together with adult comfort in mind), but I'm kind of proud of it. I think it's a good playroom-- pretty cute, reasonably organized, toys that I mostly don't hate looking at, fairly enriching.

2. Do you subscribe to any magazines or other periodicals?

Well, there's Pediatrics. And Pediatrics in Review. And, um, that's it. Just medical journals. I am boring. (Faith gets High Five, but technically we don't subscribe to it; Jack's grandma signed her up.)

3. How do you feel about the sign of peace in Mass? Enriching? Awkward? Overdone? Just right? Some combination of the above?

Well, I grew up in an Evangelical church where we had a "turn and say hello to your neighbor!" segment every church service, so when I first started attending Catholic Mass, the sign of peace seemed totally normal to me. As I've gotten a bit more orthodox/traditional/whatever, I don't love it as much. But I don't really mind it. I like the origins of it-- how you're not supposed to receive communion if you have anything against your brother, you should be at peace with everyone, and all that. (I just learned that apparently that's not the origin of the sign of peace, at least in the Latin rite, according to this article anyway.) It just seems, the way it is now, in most churches, like kind of an interruption of Mass. So I'm ambivalent, I guess.

4. What is your least favorite sound?

Babies screaming when they should be sleeping. *shudder* I did let them "cry it out" when we were sleep training, and it totally worked (eventually... Josie was persistent). But the sound just.... I can literally feel my blood pressure going up and my heart rate quickening when I hear it, and I truly break into a sweat. Even now, as I sit here just thinking about it!

5. What was your favorite TV show (or shows) growing up?

When I was little tiny, it was Sesame Street all the way. When I was a bit older, I liked watching Star Trek (Next Gen, baby!) with my mom. When I was a teenager and college-aged, I liked crime-solving shows like JAG, CSI, Law & Order, and Criminal Minds. (I still like crime-solving shows, actually.)

6. What are your favorite TV shows now?

The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, Downton Abbey. And Firefly and Breaking Bad, though they're not, y'know, on anymore. That sounds like a lot, I guess, but I generally watch them in Netflix Bursts. A few of them I'm not even "caught up" on, since I started late.

Anyway, head back to Catholic All Year for more folks' answers!

seven quick takes friday - ed. 22

1. I finally signed up for Spotify and it. Is. Awesome. I spent way too much time yesterday trolling other people's playlists and shamelessly stealing their ideas for my own.

2. I read this article the other day: The day I left my son in the car. Very interesting take on how parenting has changed to be much more supervisory of our kids than it used to be. Is it so bad to let kids out of your sight? Or rather, the question is really-- why is it SO MUCH WORSE than it used to be?

3. I'm really doing it-- tomorrow I'm going to chop my hair short. Shorter than I've ever gone before-- the shortest I've ever gone was a jaw-length bob at the beginning of med school:

 I'm scared. But excited. But scared. I don't want it to end up looking mannish or old-lady-ish or like a frizzy mop. Pray for me. (After a quick Google search, I've learned that St. Martin de Porres is the patron saint of hairdressers. Who knew? St. Martin de Porres, pray for us!)

4. So after years of refusing to watch, I'm finally hooked on The Walking Dead (I'm only on Season Two, but I'm moving fast). I know I mentioned once that I kind of have a phobia of zombies... which is why it took me this long to start watching. (I watched the first episode a long time ago but ended up in tears from terror when Rick was under the tank.... gah!!!) I still find zombies to be fundamentally upsetting-- a point I maintain is objectively true if you really think about them-- but I've managed to realize that they're just a trope for the show. They're good for startling you and making you jump, and they're pretty gross, but really they're kind of silly. They're like the baddies in Pac-Man-- they chase you around trying to chomp you, but they don't hold any malice toward you, they won't gain your trust and then betray you, they're not plotting against you. They're not immoral, they're just dangerous animals who are horrifying because they're corpses. They're not even the point of the show; they just create a situation for the real bad guys-- the humans-- to reveal themselves. It's a good show. (It still can't be the last thing I watch before I go to bed though, or I will have nightmares. My subconscious doesn't acknowledge my reasonable arguments about zombies.)

5. Here's a blog post you should read: To the lady ashamed of being pregnant with her fourth. I know this topic has been discussed by many much more eloquent than I (cough*simchafisher*cough), but it's always worth re-addressing. When did having a lot of kids (whatever "a lot" means) become something horrifying to our society? And why, especially when the family in question is happy?

6. Two serious takes in a row?! What the heck?! Here, have a science comic:

Source: Beatrice the Biologist

7. And look! COOKIE SCIENCE! The science behind baking the most delicious cookie ever.

I think these findings demand extensive confirmatory research. In my kitchen. And my mouth.

Click back over to Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!