Thursday, January 9, 2014

theme thursday: bare

On Guam, there aren't any starkly lovely bare winter trees. While the eastern half of the United States is gasping through the coldest temperatures in decades, we're going to the beach and eating popsicles in the air conditioning.

But you know what that does mean? Bare feet. Bare shoulders. And bare babies!


My roly-poly Josie posy (or Ro Po Jo Po, when I want to sound like the Judoon) in all her rolled and dimpled glory. The cuddliest baby ever.

Head over to Clan Donaldson for more bare pictures!



Tuesday, January 7, 2014

saint of the year

So I joined the crowd with the Saint's Name Generator... and got someone I'd never heard of.



St. Paul Miki was a Japanese Jesuit in the 1500s known for his eloquent preaching, and became one of the 26 Martyrs of Japan (whose feast day is February 6th) when he was forced to march 600 miles and then crucified (!!) for his beliefs in 1597 at the age of 35.  Legend has it that he preached his last sermon from the cross and forgave his executioners before he died.

Preached his last sermon from the cross?! Talk about inner peace in the midst of chaos!  Can you imagine?!  And I act like my trials are so difficult.

St. Paul Miki, pray for us.

Monday, January 6, 2014

supermom wannabe + word of the year

Do you ever look around and think, "Oh yeah, I got this"?  (Yeah, me neither.)  Or at least "I think this is actually going to work and then life will be AWESOME"?  And you have this amazing plan to organize your entire life, so that your prayer life will be deepened, your marriage will be perfect and fulfilling with nary an argument, your house will be clean, your budget will be flawless, your children will be polite and precocious, your parties (oh yes, you'll throw parties) will be gorgeous, your plan to get in shape will actually happen, and you'll finally get around to reading all of Shakespeare.  Those plans always work out exactly the way you anticipate... right?

Any Myers-Briggs aficionados out there? Yeah. INTJ here.  I'm always trying to come up with an overarching solution, a master plan that will solve and organize everything.  And while I do actually enjoy planning and scheming and such, it can be frustrating when those plans don't come to fruition.

(Pinterest recipes, anyone?)

Cari at Clan Donaldson posted recently about asking the Holy Spirit to help you discern a word of the year-- a word to meditate on and try to build your life toward.  I thought this was a lovely idea, but I was a bit skeptical that I would be able to come up with such a word. And if I did, how could I be sure it was the one God wanted me to discern?

Enter New Year's Eve.  The prior two nights had been full of late-night rocking, fussy babies, and multiple awakenings. I already knew there was no way I was going to make it to midnight. I felt like I was post-call in residency again-- that nauseous, dizzy, please-I-will-give-you-money-if-I-can-just-lie-down feeling.  And then Josie, my poor teething runny-nosed baby, was refusing to go to sleep. I was deliriously tired (at like 9:30pm, haha) so I gave in and just brought her into bed with me.  Now, we're not really co-sleepers. She's been in her own room for months. Normally I would feel like this was backsliding, and beat myself up with Mothering Angst. But as I drifted off into blessed sleep, the word that popped into my head was "peace."

Peace with this situation. Peace with things not being perfect.  Peace with a little mess in my life-- not as if everything must be all peace, all the time.  I remember a story I read once about a king who held a contest for all the artists in the kingdom to illustrate the concept of peace. Most of the artists painted scenes such as beautiful landscapes of blue skies, green fields, and calm lakes.  But the winner's painting depicted a thundering waterfall crashing over a cliff in the midst of a raging storm-- with a mother bird sitting contentedly on her nest behind the falls.  Peace in the midst of chaos.  It's easy to feel peaceful when everything in your life is going right, but that's not the test of true peace.

I do struggle with the idea of how to keep a balance-- how do I make peace with where I am without becoming complacent, or just plain lazy?  I mean, I don't want to be unreasonably hard on myself, but we should all of us strive to be better than we are, right?

Maybe it's more about letting go of frustration. Not so much thinking that problems don't need to be fixed, but accepting that they don't need to be fixed right now.  Realizing that it's okay to stop and take a breath.

Wishing you peace in 2014.

(PS- I don't know why this post initially appeared way down at 12/27, since I wrote it long after that.  Editing in the hopes that it will now appear in the correct order.)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

13 from '13

I know it's not 2013 anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't do a year-end review or, more importantly, JOIN THE LINKUP!

January:

We visited our families in Ohio for New Year's, aka Let's-Pretend-It's-Christmas-Because-We-Had-To-Work-On-Christmas-Because-Stupid-Residency. Faith got gastroenteritis and freaked out on the plane. Good times.

February:

Faith turned two and gorged herself on cake. She also started talking more, working on overcoming her speech delay thanks to her wonderful speech therapist, Miss Betsy.

March:

Still preggo. Fortunately I passed the dreaded glucose tolerance test this time-- when I was pregnant with Faith I just barely failed and had to come in to do the three-hour test on one of my few Saturdays off.  Shoot me.

April:

Presented my research, "An Analysis of Infant Deaths and Injuries Associated with Swaddle Wraps and Sleep Sacks" at a poster presentation and won a (very local) award for it!  (Also, I turned 29. Yikes.)

May:

Faith enjoyed her last month as an only child as we got ready for Josie's arrival.  I finished up almost all of my clinical experience as a resident, as I had cleverly arranged my schedule to have my final, baby-birthing month be a "board study" month only, with just a couple half-days of continuity clinic remaining.

June:
Jack and I both finished residency!  Here's me (looking enormous) with almost my whole residency class on our end-of-residency party/boat trip.  Look how happy we all are to be DONE WITH RESIDENCY!!!

June gets the bonus picture!

Josie was born at the end of a super-quick 5.5-hour labor.  Seriously, I started having contractions as we headed out to lunch at Panera, and by dinnertime I had a baby.  It was basically drug-free (not on purpose... I respect ladies who want to go au natural but I'm not one of them) because it was ridiculously fast. They got the epidural in-- and the IV, which I was supposed to have much earlier for antibiotics due to screening positive for GBS-- JUUUUST in time for me to push.  Then it was like 3 pushes and hello baby!

July:

Omg, you guys, we moved to Guam!!  The heck?!

August:

We finally moved into our house after being on Guam almost a month.  So amazing after living in hotels for weeks on end.  Also, Jack turned 31... officially "in his thirties." Crazy!

September:

I started work as a real-life attending pediatrician! Double crazy!

October:

Faith was the cutest Red Riding Hood EVER for Halloween.

November:

Cooked my first (teeny, under 10 pounds) turkey successfully!

December:

Christmas on Guam. Surreal. Happy, though.


I could do with a few years quite a bit LESS eventful than 2013. You know?


Linking up with Dwija at House Unseen, Life Unscripted!



Friday, January 3, 2014

seven quick takes friday - ed. 12

1. Yesterday I worked "locum tenens"-- which is like being a substitute teacher, but for doctors. It was fine, but kind of weird. I felt like I wasn't sure what I was "allowed" to do-- for instance, I prescribe fluoride supplements to all my patients (which is the official recommendation for kids in areas where the tap water isn't fluoridated), but the docs I was covering for, it seems, don't.  So I didn't.  Some of medicine is cut-and-dry, black-and-white, but much of it varies with each physician's "style."

2. I'm planning on giving Faith a dollhouse for her third birthday (next month!) and omg, you guys, have you seen the Plan Toys dollhouse furniture? I can't get over how cute they are in their simple, sturdy way.

Sorry this picture is so blur-tastic.  It was the only (okay, the first) one I found with multiple sets in one photo.

3. Faith is cracking me up recently. The latest thing she says, "Oh my dosh!"  (She doesn't really say her Gs yet, so it's extra cute.)   As in, "Oh my dosh, why you sad, Josie?" or "Oh no, dropped it!  Oh my dosh!  Need help, mama!"

4.  Ever wanted to become a Ring Wraith? Look no further!

5. Has anyone ever made any of these "microwave [insert food here] in a mug" things?  The pictures always look delicious, but I'm a little skeptical.  Very tempted, but skeptical.  Although, I guess, what's the worst that could happen, right?  It's not like it's a big time investment.



6. On New Year's Day we went to mass at the base chapel.  The priest made an interesting point during the homily made an interesting point:  most New Year's resolutions are actually wishes-- to lose weight, to be a better spouse, to read more, exercise more, eat better, draw closer to God, whatever.  A real resolution would be to say "every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will jog for 30 minutes" or "I will set my alarm 15 minutes earlier and use that time for prayer" or "I will wash the dishes in the evenings without complaining to my husband."  That way you're actually resolving to do something-- a specific action-- to achieve your goal.

7. With that in mind, I hereby make a resolution to blog at least 3 times a week, AND to comment on others' blogs at least that often as well.

Happy New Year!  Go see more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

potential energy

I recently learned a new concept in Chamorro tradition:  m'godai-- which I have NO IDEA if I'm spelling correctly, but it's pronounced something like "muh-GOD-eye."  Apparently it's the irresistible urge, when you see a cute baby, to squeeze or touch him.  (And it also encompasses the superstition that if it's your baby, and someone gets that urge, you have to let the person touch your baby or else the baby could get sick.)

Babies are sweet, sweet things, there's no doubt about it.  Their little drooly chins and pink rosebud lips and smushy chubby cheeks and round clear eyes and gummy smiles?  So darling.



I'm noticing something interesting, though, now with baby number two.  I find it a lot easier to think of her as a person than I did when Faith was a baby.  Now, obviously intellectually I always thought of Faith as a person.  But I mean that when I snuggle Josie, I don't just think of her as a snuggly bundle of cuteness (which she is), but also as a future adult.  Or at least, a future "big kid."  And that just brings this sense of awe that comes over me every now and then.

Maybe it's because I have Faith as daily evidence that babies turn into "real life people"?  Does it get easier and easier to see that potential in babies the more kids you have, or the older your kids get?


what i read in 2013

Linking up with Haley from Carrots for Michaelmas!

WhatIReadIn2013


New books read:


Through the Ever Night by Veronica Rossi.  This is the second book of a young-adult trilogy, which is set in a future, post-apocalyptic world -- in this case, the apocalypse was the onset of a phenomenon called the Aether about three hundred years prior.  The Aether isn't fully explained, but it's some kind of near-constant, devastating, electrical atmospheric phenomenon which makes survival on earth very difficult.  When it began, a few thousand people were chosen by lottery to live in "pods" or protected cities, safe from the Aether (cities which they never, ever leave) and spend most of their lives in a virtual reality world called the Realms.  Everyone else was left on the outside, to survive as best they could-- and over the years, some of them developed special powers as a result of mutations caused by exposure to the Aether.  The story (of course) involves the meeting of two teens, Perry and Aria, one from the outside world and one from inside the pods.  I actually enjoyed it a lot-- as well as the first book, Under the Never Sky.  It's a teeny bit predictable, but it's cleverly done and well written, and the fantasy world is pretty well fleshed out despite the lack of scientific explanation.  Of course there's a love story (of course) but it's actually a truly believable one. (I've already pre-ordered the third book, Into The Still Blue, which comes out next month!)


Storm Front by Jim Butcher.  This is the first book of a series which my brother Sam recommended to me.  The main character and narrator, Harry Dresden, is a bona fide wizard living in modern-day Chicago and working as a private investigator.  It was a lot of fun.  I wouldn't mind reading more of this series.


Graceling, Fire, and Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore.  This is another young-adult fantasy trilogy.  Apparently I read a lot of those this year.  The premise of this one is that, in a certain land, some babies (unclear exactly how many-- maybe one in fifty?) are born with a Grace, or special skill... which can be anything at all.  Some Graces are valued, like fighting or cooking, or singing, or being ridiculously good at math.  Some are a bit useless, like fearlessness or being able to hold your breath indefinitely, or being able to open your mouth bizarrely far (as one character can do).  Some Graces are looked upon with suspicion, like mind reading-- but all Gracelings are looked upon with some suspicion, at least in most places.  And you can tell who the Gracelings are because their eyes are two different colors.  I enjoyed this series, but it wasn't my favorite.  The morality espoused by the books was also a bit questionable at times.  But the premise was interesting and pretty well-done, with a lot of "what-ifs" followed out to their logical conclusions (which I find a lot of fantasy books don't do), and some genuinely suspenseful and surprising moments.


Shelter by Harlan Coben.  Apparently also the first of a young-adult series.  Not a fantasy (though it does deal with ideas of fate and destiny).  The main character, Mickey Bolitar, has just moved in with his uncle after his father died in a car accident and his mother was put into rehab.  And his new girlfriend, Ashley, has mysteriously disappeared.  Sucks to be him, right?  Then a creepy, crazy (or is she?) old neighbor lady tells him that maybe his father isn't dead after all.  Mickey doesn't know what to think, but he knows he needs to find out what happened to Ashley, and hopefully find out more about his father and this crazy neighbor lady while he's at it.  Enjoyable and reasonably well-written, it addressed sometimes-horrifying subject matter with maturity and non-gratuitousness.


The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.  I purchased it on Kindle in a moment of desperation.  It was moderately helpful.  I would recommend it to my patients' parents (or my friends), especially if they lean toward attachment-style parenting.


The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning by Simcha Fisher.  If you use NFP, and you haven't read it, you should.  It's not a how-to-do-NFP book, so much as a how-to-stay-married-and-not-cry-in-frustration-while-doing-NFP book.  Read, laugh, cry, nod, recommend to others.


NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.  A very interesting, absorbing book which uses various research studies to challenge common preconceptions about raising children.  Chapter titles include "The Inverse Power of Praise," "Why White Parents Don't Talk About Race," "The Science of Teen Rebellion," "Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't," and lots more.  Really fascinating.


Allegiant by Veronica Roth.  This is the third book of a young-adult trilogy.  In this future dystopian city, everyone lives their life in one of five factions, each focused on a certain virtue:  Abnegation (the selfless), Candor (the honest), Erudite (the intelligent), Dauntless (the courageous), or Amity (the peaceful).  The faction you are in determines everything about you-- where you live, what you wear, how you act, what careers are open to you, etc.  At age 16, each person gets to decide whether they will stay in the faction they were born into, or transfer to a different faction (where they will remain for the rest of their lives).  The trilogy starts when the main character, Beatrice Prior, is about to make that decision.  The premise sounded silly to me before I read them, but I actually LOVED this series.


Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell.  An interesting, hard-to-put-down book exploring how we make snap decisions without even realizing how (such as whether you like a certain food or whether you're attracted to someone, or doctors deciding whether someone is likely to be having a heart attack, or police officers deciding whether someone is about to pull out a gun).  It discusses what goes into those decisions, when we can and can't rely on them, and what the consequences are.  The Tipping Point is definitely on my list for 2014.

Books re-read:


Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.  The last time I read this, I was in high school.  I didn't realize back then how hilarious (in a good way-- like, a her-writing-is-super-clever way) Austen is.


Divergent and Insurgent by Veronica Roth.  These are the first two books of the trilogy that ended with Allegiant, which I discussed above.  Love.


All seven Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling.  Ahhh, Harry Potter.  Some of my favorite books of all time.  (Hermione is my girl.) This was my first time going back and re-reading them after finishing the 7th book, so it was fun to pick up on things and read them in the light of what I knew was going to happen.

Books started but not yet finished:


Miracles by C.S. Lewis.  Well, C.S. Lewis is wonderful, of course.  This book is quite a bit denser and less conversational than some of his other works like Mere Christianity, though, so it's taking me awhile to get through it.  It's hard to find time to sit down and really concentrate on what I'm reading for any extended period of time, with littles in the house.


Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O'Neill.  This is one I think I'm actually not going to try to finish-- at least not for now.  It's well-written, but very depressing, and I found I just wasn't enjoying myself as I was reading it. (I got probably halfway through, or nearly halfway.)  Here's Amazon's synopsis:
At thirteen, Baby vacillates between childhood comforts and adult temptation: still young enough to drag her dolls around in a vinyl suitcase yet old enough to know more than she should about urban cruelties. Motherless, she lives with her father, Jules, who takes better care of his heroin habit than he does of his daughter. Baby's gift is a genius for spinning stories and for cherishing the small crumbs of happiness that fall into her lap. But her blossoming beauty has captured the attention of a charismatic and dangerous local pimp who runs an army of sad, slavishly devoted girls—a volatile situation even the normally oblivious Jules cannot ignore. And when an escape disguised as betrayal threatens to crush Baby's spirit, she will ultimately realize that the power of salvation rests in her hands alone.


Mansfield Park by Jane Austen.  I'd already read the three Jane Austen novels that it seems like everyone has read (maybe because they were made into movies with big-name stars?)-- Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and Sense and Sensibility (omg, how much do you love that book cover for S&S on Amazon?! I wish my copy looked like that!).  Mansfield Park is equally charming.  (I hate Mary Crawford already.  She's so obnoxious.  I just want to smack her.)  Northanger Abbey and Persuasion (again with the gorgeous cover!) are on my list, hopefully for 2014... but I have a LOT on my list for 2014, so we'll see.  They're on my in-the-near-future list, anyway!


What books did you read in 2013?